Of paradoxes, emotions, life, the self and me.

It may well be just a glue of dread and drum, but it certainly is something! Paradoxes in every vision, every moment levy me with a disbelief in the whole.....thing. A sort of skeptic whom I didn't know to have existed in me before. And in this big spoof of paradoxes are put in an unexplainable thing called emotion. I don't know how emotions came to exist, or how the genes control the brain's tiresome work. But nevertheless, emotions drive man. A human is what emotion is. An individual becomes an individual only when his range of emotions and perception of emotions vary from each other, which basically means that their genes are different. This teetered dread and drum along with the quotient called emotion, minister the master paradox of all paradoxes in this conceptually paradoxical Universe, that is, time. With this newly mentioned paradox, we are able to obtain a situation where all other filthy paradoxes can interact with each other in odd kinds of permutations and combinations. And finally, we come to the word 'life'. It can simply be defined as "sigma Paradox". I won't call it as the master paradox because I have already used that adjective for time. I don't repent it either.
Onto a more philosophical and fucking viewpoint now; In this odd system, where perception is clouded by disbelief, we are meant to move forth till the paradox time no longer continues to suffocate us. By the previous sentence, I meant that we would eventually 'die' at a point of 'time'. But then this is where the emotion quotient springs up. Guided by these ticklish things found in the vacuum of the brain, humans drive forth all sorts of impish fantasies. The very fact that I consider human actions as 'impish fantasies' is an outcome of the emotion that I am experiencing now. Sages have, in the past, successfully overcome emotions and spent their 'time' plucking flowers, which sort of gave them a serene and contented emotion, which, according to them, is not an emotion.
Before further idio(ma)tic expressions, I would like to dwell more upon the meaning of 'paradox'. The simplest example of a paradox that I can think of is :
The Below statement is true
The above statement is false.
Many beautiful paradoxes like the self engrossing videos, that is, when a mirror reflects the reflection of the reflection of the .... infinitely, the reflection of you. The creepy and mindblowingly beautiful thing about paradoxes is that it sort of makes you crave to know the end of it and you tend to believe that there is an end to it, while it just loops on and on. Such is the case with Universe and atom. I used to wonder the Universe, which we are a part of, as an atom. The same atom which makes up this sheet of paper or this hands. I mean to say that we are a part of each atom present in this "Universe" and that each atom is a 'Universe' of which we are part of. I abandoned this view since I had to do my chemistry assignment.
Finally, we come to the I, the thing, the self, the me, this 172 cms of space. The feeling of entity is simply indescribable because I am me. How much ever I try to communicate how it is to have a feeling of 'me', I will never succeed, neither will you. Is it a paradox ? I don't know. Douglas. R. Hofstadter believes that 'I' is a sort of another self reflecting paradox but he wasn't able to drive any point. Nor can I be expressed in mathematical terms. 'I' just exists within the paradox of time. The 'I' might have been weaved in by a rather forbidden combination of paradoxes within 'time'. And I was born.
The 'I' weaves by itself, rather complex network of emotions, which tends to make the 'I' waste its time on this beautiful paradox.But well, its the 'I' whose got to decide which paradox he is more comfortable with, the paradox called emotion or the paradox called time ?

A theoritical explanation without using a word that comes after D.

Its too hot up here.
With all emotions churning in and out and in and out.
Put a sieve amidst all this
and be asked to sieve them off.
And sieve starts to churn along.
(chorus) Churn Churn Churn

A biology record and a clock
A chemistry record and a torn off page
A Physics sir and lots of pages
A Maths sir and 'imposition'
(chorus) Balle Balle Balle

Memory uproots and flies off
Consciousness remains
without any purpose.
Tried pushing it away,
But the rope wasn't enough.
(chorus) The ceiling is too high, The ceiling is too high

Put the opposite sex into the equation.
And what do we get ?
Life
(chorus) Life Life Life

A directionless Vector

Now, I've got to do
What I've got to do.
What I've got to do,
is the question that beats me.
There is a lot of time remaining, to be spent
And time isn't a commodity that comes with a discount
So,practically, it means I've got to live through
'To live through' - seems just three words,
which,it, infact, is
But that is not the point.
The point is that,
it is pointless.
I have kept stressing on this point,
for the past 365 days,
inorder to convince myself,
that it is pointless.
But time and event made me stray away
into an improbable arena of pointfullness
where stars are red, girls wear churidars,
boys trip you over with legs, infact, leg,
And head stays out of coverage area.

Suddenly, the light comes back on
and I am on a white room.
Alongside God Himself, snoozing in his chair
In my hand is a pen and paper
Croak! God gets startled and wakes up
And I ask for an autograph
The white room dissolves,
along with me,
and here I am
thudding away As and Ws and As and Ys
just to stress the point
which, still, continues to be that
it is quite pointless.