BOY! Who would have thought that 41 hours before the Boards, I would be sitting here, typing into my own doom.
I am really excited. How I want that clock to turn over these useless 41 hours.
This day, next month, I would be in some cinema-hall, booing Mohanlal's antics. I have been thinking on the things I have to do after the you-know-what.
Gotto study guitar
Gotto go to Waterworks every morning,
Live on Medical College ground,
Once-in-a-while enter home,
Watch Ganguly hit centuries against Bermudians and Scottish ( they say some can roll their arms over these days),
Cycle to beach every evening with pals
Films, parties, living in friend's houses, freaking out with bro when he comes...er...if he comes, that is. Do they get cheap MP3 players in Goa ? Hmm.... need a playstation or two.
Oh Me God. Half an hour gone. Ney, I am not tensed, am I ?
Been wandering pointlessly for the past almost-16 years now. It was a thoroughly heartwarming and emotionally enduring experience. A special vote of thanks to those who decided to put down their knives and revolvers n let me on.
So, this is it, then. Finally, I reach the cross-roads. There is the road less travelled by and the oft one. Either I study or I don't. Either I suffer or I don't.
I am not ready to suffer and am not ready to study. Day after tommorow, here I come.
By the by, I like banana peels.
Rewinding to the instances where I went wrong,
I realize where I went wrong
The wrong foot and the wrong glance
I shook the wrong pair of hands
Flirted with danger till it fell in love with me
God pulled my leg, Satan saw it fit
Life is, was and will be what it ever was
What it ever was, beats me
I took comfort for granted
Constant change deceived me
I cried out loud, shouted into the night
to take me away from the mess
I have changed myself into a shadow
of mankind; that found woes in every pain
I have things to do; but I can't
I am in an eternal dream called life
A dream that kills me, inspires me
A dream that tells me of after-life
I am confused,I am pathetic
Crudest thoughts conquer me
I am reminded of my own lines
" I am dead but life is beautiful"
I waited for it to make sense
It eluded, my own creation.
Why am I still here ?
Why ?
Life, I guess.
Give me Satan, I want to hug him
Give me God, I want to kiss him
Give me a slap, I want to wake up
Devil is no competition for us
God is no fear for us
Give me a Benz E class,
Give me a beautiful lass
Give me all that you want to
Why make me wish? I am fed up -
of you giving me all that I want
For once turn your head
away from me and live on
Oh! whom did I address ?
Satan or God ?
;)
Aged calendars grow yellow,
brown and die. New ones replace them.
Life peeps through those square blocks, never giving everything, but enough to hop from one square to other.
I tried to hop back to the square I came from, but found it improbable.
There seemed only one thing for me to do, jump forward.
I stand, sometimes, on the boundary between the squares wondering whether there is anything worthwhile in the next blocks. Then, a tide cascades over me, I drown and when I get up I am so far away that I can't see where I had been.
One day, they removed the calendar. No ruffling papers, no moth-eaten squares, no boundaries. I was helpless. They took my life away. Behind, there was nothing. Ahead, more so. I tried walking but didn't know if I moved at all.
There was no point crying for there was no point in being pointless about being pointless. What was left with me was a tuned brain accustomed to the square blocks and a little bit of wit unaccustomed to the tuned brain.
These 2 merged.
A new vision enveloped.
Doors. Open it, you get another one. I know everytime I push the handle that I am going to see a replica of the same door. But everytime the door knob clicks, there is a rise and fall of the chest which enlivens me.
I was the creator of the pattern. If there is anybody who could change it, it is me. As if I bother to....
