The words are too coagulated. Sometimes they just donot make any sense. Thoughts seem so numb that I fear they can never be expressed. Ignorance so blunt that I try to shield myself from the world. Yet, life goes on. With every advancing day I am convinced that I am the biggest loser around. I make excuses for my own sake. Admission is surrendering.
Most of the times, I get enveloped by my own self, unable to break free from the cycle of guilt and crimes. Rest of the time, I comprehend about myself, where I would reach, what I have done, what I could have done.
Yes, I do break free sometimes. Mostly when I am hanging out in the city with my pals. That is the time that keeps me alive. And our phonecalls, they have got reduced to fighting spaces. But I believe that, that fight keeps my being from falling apart.
Knowledge is needed. I would have been absolutely happy if someone could inject fatloads into me. Being is what I do on weekdays. Living is what I do on weekends.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Waaaanky waaankyyy
Aaawww well, you know what happens at this point of the night ? You wish the whole world would look at you and marvel at the wonder the creator has produced. You see, I often like to swell up under the idea that the whole world with its people live somewhere else and I am shipped off alone, traversing some novel fantasy. But the truth is, infact, that the world has found equally interesting people to have conversations with and I do not fit into the picture. Yes, I am a moron. But that doesn't mean that the world is in scarce of the kind.
And I am deeply sorry, dear. I really want to speak to you. But what happens when channels like Rosebowl put movies like the ones they put on tonight is that you tend to think that this is a once-in-a-lifetime movie, which is why they have termed the series '101 movies to see before you die'. And I am on 'Fuck'-Rehabilitation exercise in which I try to restrain myself from using the word Fuck twice in a sentence.
Time's been pretty good. Sometimes I get the feeling I am high on cocaine. But I have reasoned out that these are times I feel sleepy, probably around this time in the night. Shes quite nice. But quite unreasonable. A tag too sensitive. And asleep.
And this is a very bad forum. Either you have to be half-consious or you have to be completely frank. Or else, you should try being a Shakespeore or Milton. Incase, you couldn't achieve any of this, you should be the new kid on the block - Meenakshy Reddy Madhavan. Be sure to take a Viagra, though.
You see, I get up tomorrow morning. I lay awake. And then, I look at the clock and decide if my bowels are ready. Then I fuss around about a bad stomach, eat fatloads, cum somewhere, play DOTA, call her up and fight, be in a sour mood, go out, savour the city, come back, put on the TV, tell her that I can't abnegate a good movie, be satisfied in using a word that I've been long longing to use, go to sleep, get up, read some stuff, go to college . . . . . . . . . . Fuck her . . . . . . . . Die.
Its boring to be a monk. But its really irritating not to have something that you want. Especially, when you can't even control yourself. But I would like to play DOTA tomorrow, though it doesn't mean much. Its pretty depressing that the things you can do don't please you as much. I have a GoGear which gets lost every other week. The only good thing it does to me is to liften my spirits up on rediscovering it. I intend to use it when I have it. I want to use it when I don't have it.
Aah, I guess I should go off to sleep. As they say, Life's a Bitch! hihi.... Amores Perros
And I am deeply sorry, dear. I really want to speak to you. But what happens when channels like Rosebowl put movies like the ones they put on tonight is that you tend to think that this is a once-in-a-lifetime movie, which is why they have termed the series '101 movies to see before you die'. And I am on 'Fuck'-Rehabilitation exercise in which I try to restrain myself from using the word Fuck twice in a sentence.
Time's been pretty good. Sometimes I get the feeling I am high on cocaine. But I have reasoned out that these are times I feel sleepy, probably around this time in the night. Shes quite nice. But quite unreasonable. A tag too sensitive. And asleep.
And this is a very bad forum. Either you have to be half-consious or you have to be completely frank. Or else, you should try being a Shakespeore or Milton. Incase, you couldn't achieve any of this, you should be the new kid on the block - Meenakshy Reddy Madhavan. Be sure to take a Viagra, though.
You see, I get up tomorrow morning. I lay awake. And then, I look at the clock and decide if my bowels are ready. Then I fuss around about a bad stomach, eat fatloads, cum somewhere, play DOTA, call her up and fight, be in a sour mood, go out, savour the city, come back, put on the TV, tell her that I can't abnegate a good movie, be satisfied in using a word that I've been long longing to use, go to sleep, get up, read some stuff, go to college . . . . . . . . . . Fuck her . . . . . . . . Die.
Its boring to be a monk. But its really irritating not to have something that you want. Especially, when you can't even control yourself. But I would like to play DOTA tomorrow, though it doesn't mean much. Its pretty depressing that the things you can do don't please you as much. I have a GoGear which gets lost every other week. The only good thing it does to me is to liften my spirits up on rediscovering it. I intend to use it when I have it. I want to use it when I don't have it.
Aah, I guess I should go off to sleep. As they say, Life's a Bitch! hihi.... Amores Perros
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
You see, I am feeling quite sleepy. Yet I am unable to sleep. There are lots of images that flash across this windscreen. Mostly, it would consist of scampily clad women. Thats what worries me the most too.
Bring down the stars. I am a little gloomy here. Where is the supernatural ? the sex ? the hartal ? I cant even manage to get across 5 minutes without uttering 'Fuck!' as many times. I mean, who is happy ? I guess, I come here when I have nothing else to do and end up thinking the same thing over and over again. There is this constant fear of being judged. This weight is pretty hard. I can't just seem to escape.
Fuck
Bring down the stars. I am a little gloomy here. Where is the supernatural ? the sex ? the hartal ? I cant even manage to get across 5 minutes without uttering 'Fuck!' as many times. I mean, who is happy ? I guess, I come here when I have nothing else to do and end up thinking the same thing over and over again. There is this constant fear of being judged. This weight is pretty hard. I can't just seem to escape.
Fuck
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)