The hand held camera walks back. The video ripples up and down. It shows a shadowed face walking by the gleam of the standing streetlight. The video captures his torso, bulgy stomach, protruding hairy chests. His breaths are heavy. A look behind and turns to the lane on the left.

Five minutes later, he runs. Half embarassed, half remorseful. Camera runs behind. Sees the neighbours waving goodbye to their guests. Suddenly feels a spasm of self-consciousness. Opens the gate in haste. Sees his mother slowly advancing but stopping abrutly at his sight. Wide angle shot. He closes the gate and wonders why the hell did a stranger on the motorcycle make him change his mind.

The hue is grey. The verandah light illuminates him when hes on the threshold of opening the door. Video turns dark as he enters the living room, waits till his mother is inside and bangs shut.

CUT

Incoherent Mumbles

Bite the lip, curse this world
Sometimes it gleams with hope
Other times,it presents honey-voiced assurances
Mostly, it never cares.

Hugging your world tight, with kisses all over its face
Sometimes tearfully, sometimes lustfully.
We all wonder, whats so much for him to worry about ?
Just shut up, will you ?

We all end up the same.
A few less fights, a few more crimes
never add up.
What is this ramble inside ?
Why is this rogue-eyed confession ?
SCREAM.

I want you.
Isn't it plain enough ?
The eyes never meet, ways vapourise
Moments wait anxiously but they soon cease to exist
I want to smell, to feel, to touch
to reel under the ecstasy of the perfume.
No, I have already seen the moon and the stars
There aren't many wonders left.
Why can't this be prized out too ?
Why do you have to remind me of traditions.
Please, I am somebody you do know.
Give me a second look.
A moment's hope.
Don't just walk away, into the crowd.
I can't yell for I am a coward.
But can't you just look back,
Atleast for once.

No NO NOT AGAIN!

I didn't look back. The crowd walked by without as much as giving me a glance. My life is only this much, atleast, this year. The dust flew amongst the evening rays.

Now I am dreaming. I know that this is a dream.
A cinema ticket for two. Me and my brother are supposed to go for it. The show is at five-thirty in the morning. The time is past midnight. I am watching TV with my mother. Her hands are put across my shoulder. Time to time she ruffles my hair lovingly. I hear the drops thud against the tarpaulin of the car porch. I stretch across to see the illuminated ones fall down through the lamp's effuse. There he comes. Mother opens the door. I wait patiently for him to give a nod to the theatre. But as I half-expect he is in a sour mood. Dejected, I walk through the streets. Its not raining anymore. The streetlights gleam amongst the pools. Kiran comes along and tells me he is going. I ask him to go on and not wait for me. Now I am with her. In an autorickshaw, with a highly irritable driver. I ask her if she could accompany me. The reply is a muted one.

Anand runs across the field relentlessly. He is giving it all. He might not be able to keep the possession for long but he makes sure that the counterpart can't too. On the other wing plays a lanky boy. But where's Go-? The ball is netted again. The heads sink further. Now he sees me on the bench sticking out a torn shoe.

Atop a pile of broken academic dreams, I sit again, denying my own defeat. Acceptance finally sees light. Frustrations creep onto my thoughts, they turn -