A Tribute

I feel lonely.I dont know why or I am trying to deny the reason behind this. There is a dampness in the air just trying to replicate my condition. This hour had been one that i have pondered deep for somedays now. My thoughts dwelled only on one topic.

Theres nobody near me now. It was deep boredom that plunged me hesitatingly to these thoughts.

I cant but smile when I think of writing about him. The thought that surely you are going to read this is a distraction. :D . I mean , there are somethings in life that you don't notice and always take to be granted. He is one of it. The fact that after this Saturday there wont be anybody to babble infinitely about my daily experiences is quite diificult to digest.

There are things that you don't see coming or rather you dont dwell much on it or its impacts. Its impact, here , loss of a .............brother? We both silently know we both are not the emotional kind. ;) . To emphasise on this over-brooding of mine only this is needed - Its not everyday that you are going to realise that somebody whom you saw everyday for fourteen and 3/4 years (taking into account his tours and travels) is going to be away...... probably breaking the level of intimacy we share.

I mean... hes not the best guy on palkulangara, leave alone pettah (:D). Ya, I too know that tonight theres going to be a slight rift over the fact that I need the PC but... probably it will be one of the few more to take place. Anyway, hes got his defects. Or rather I should have said hes got his advantages. This way, it seems the positive takes over the negative. Anyway, each day I come upon atleast 3 things of him that I dont approve but none I do.

I am not here to conduct a discussion on his pros and cons nor am I to cite the ways I am to miss him. But there is something unexplainable. I can see myself alone working on this PC without any fear of brother pushing me out of this cushioned chair. But then you ask yourself what was it that u wanted ? computer all for your own? Situation prompts me to say that I would like to share the computer but frankly on this issue I choose the former option. Lets take something else then ;) .
My mathaw keeps on reminding once in two months how he used to carry my bag from school to home.. I used to reply how I saved his life one day when my mother started to prowl on his female-friendly Yahoo messenger list by signing out. But you see theres something that I cant share with my mother, things like vayinottam. In that case my bro is more than a useful companion.
I feel a lot better now as I have stopped dwelling on aravind-devoid future of mine. But when that sense of loss again saturates inside me, be sure to be bored..