Fooling myself

Dreams catch me. I drift with it. It is always the easier option. There is no effort. Everything motions according to thy whims and fancies. None to question.
Plunging into deep thoughts becomes painful when you do it on purpose, with the realization that you have got to exercise your mental mass. It becomes easier to fool yourself and others that you are in deep thought by using some word combinations that they are not accustomed to or by using long sentences to describe what you intend to describe.
You try different things as catalysts to speed up your unmeaningful thoughts and turn it meaningful. The common ones include music, paintings, some long-nosed skawky looking guy's 1200 pages book that revolves around the meaninglessness of life (which I currently use as a mouse pad),the trees that seem to be uninterested in moving etc etc.
But eventually you know that you are sitting in front of the monitor without the slightest notion of what you are writing and how much you have conveyed.Then you ask yourself--'what is the point?' Ultimately it comes down to the fact whether someone has misunderstood you to be a very good thinker or whether the guy has actually found out that you have no substance and that you are trying to hide it under the pillows of frankness.
The very good quality that most of the supposed great thinkers possessed is that they could never describe the most of their thoughts via expressions that the common human could understand. I am not accusing them for they have gone too far beyond.I don't know if this going-beyond-thinggy is great because we actually don't know if he has gone forward or backward. And they possibly cannot convey their ideas through some 25 or so tiny figures combined together.
Half an hour later, when I am looking at this, it doesnt make any sense except for that it was something that I wrote to write. Something, that most people are not good at and something that is not conveyed from the deepest core of your heart.